Dreams of the Past
by PossessedbySoda
Summary: One-shot about Sasuke and his brother. Sasuke dreams of his one happy memory with his brother, and how that memory is now drowned out by hatred and longing for revenge.


Disclaimer: As much as I wished I owned Naruto, I don't…. I would fight Kishimoto-sama for the rights, but that would require too much effort, so I won't…. I would love to try to make money off of my fanfictions (God, I am SO broke:D) but that's illegal, so I won't do that either….

Summary: A one-shot about Sasuke, and the way he remembers his brother. This is technically from episode # 130-or-so, but it doesn't give away much of anything, so don't worry, no spoilers:D The story is told in Sasuke's point of view.

Dreams of the Past

I have dreams... of a time long ago, when warmth still flickered deep in my heart. These memories I drive away so fiercely in the daytime, steal over me once again in sleep.

I had lived all my life with the burning desire to prove myself, to live up to my father's expectations. I admired him so much, it hurts to think about now. I remember the way we passed in halls in the morning-- how I would suddenly feel awkward in his presence, and try to make up for my inadequacies with a faint smile and a timid, "Good morning, Father." Some days he would glance down and nod to me, maybe say a solemn, "Good morning." Most days, though, he passed me by with merely a glance. It was on those days I knew he was going to see Itachi. Itachi-- the son who never disappointed him. Itachi-- the son I could never be.

But I didn't hate my brother for having my father's love. I envied him, oh how I envied him! ...But I did not hate him.

If anything, it was my brother whom I loved the most.

There was always an understanding between Itachi and I. During those rare, cherished days when he took me into the forest for shuriken practice, we would often sit in silence together, just thinking about our lives. We both knew what was bothering the other. I knew how harshly Father was pushing him; how stressful the life of the Anbu could be, and how weary he must feel. He understood that I begrudged him Father's attention, and that even so I still idolized his strength and power. That understanding between us made the silences peaceful and uncomplicated. It was this understanding that made us brothers.

I know now that the peace I felt when I was around him was love. Now, this knowledge only makes my life all the more bitter.

My strongest memory is of Itachi. It is this memory that haunts me every night as I sleep. Once again, I am a little boy, huddled upon my brother's back as he carries me home. Under the cool shade of the forest, Itachi carries me along the dirt path, taking care not to touch my injured ankle. He turns his head and glances back at me, sees my smile.

"Why are you laughing? You're the one who twisted his ankle. Is it because you wanted me to carry you back to the village? Because you wanted to have it easy?"

"That's not it!" I hear myself say. "I'm just excited about tomorrow, that's all! It's my first day at the Academy!"

I couldn't see his face, but I knew he was smiling. I could feel it in the way he walked; in the way he carried me. I smile to myself in content, for one moment feeling truly happy. I lay my head down on his back and felt his warmth seep into me like sunlight. I rested there, lulled by the cadence of his steps to the rhythm of both our hearts. My lips upturned in a silent smile.

For one moment, I felt truly happy. I wished, in that moment, that every day could be like this—that I could bask in happiness every day for the rest of my life.

Of course, my wish never came true. My dream of what could be is dead and gone now; turned as cold as my heart. This dream of the old days is the one happy memory I have, and to fulfill my new dream—my new ambition—I must not think such pathetically weak thoughts.

This burning ache to succeed I feel every day now; this incessant voice in the back of my head that whispers of betrayal and revenge... It occupies my every thought and action. A day does not go by that I imagine, for one triumphant moment, my brother's hot blood rushing through my clenched fingers.

But why, in the middle of the night, do I dream of something different? Something about the darkness makes me remember the things I thought I had locked away years ago. It makes me remember that rare, sad smile my brother sometimes made when he looked at me. Instead of this cruel yearning for his blood, I remember his warm back and that comfortable feeling of safety I felt with him all those years ago.

And sometimes, I wonder, could it have turned out differently between us…?

…But I have no time for such a useless emotion as regret. The weakling I used to be is no more. I live in longing for the day of revenge. I may weaken during the night, but that just makes me even stronger in the daylight. My strength will grow until my heart freezes into stone, and then I will never dream again.

My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and I will always hate my brother.

Owari

Heh, sudden inspiration struck me when I watched episode #130. I just suddenly had this image of Sasuke remembering his brother's warmth, and I just had to write something about it and get it out of my system. Kinda difficult to read though, for some reason, huh? Oh well, ;;

Review and I will love you FOREVER:D


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